Why?

It's 6:18 pm,
i'm in my room, sitting on my bed, headphones on my ears,
my playlist just finished, i have to replay it again, hold on a sec.......
Listening to Switchfoot, Gone...nice song, try it sometimes...
I don't feel good about myself lately; In fact it has been a long time since i felt good about
myself, i'm not satisfied at all with who or what i am...what am i?
Just a big pile of flesh, few bones, and not any kind of intelligence at all, neither do i have any feelings at all...why am i like this?
I haven't achieved anything in my life...why?
I should have done something that can be pointed at and told that I did that, why haven't I?
Why none of my "friends" can look at someone he knows and tell him: "I have a friend, Mohamed, he is this, and he is that, and he has done something amazing"...?
Why don't I stand out from a crowd....?
I'm just a face in the crowd, why?
I don't pray regularly, why?
I don't pray in time, why?
I don't read Quran everyhour, nor do I read it everyday, not every week, not even every month, why?
I'm not good at what i do, why?
I don't get excellent grades, why?
Why can't my teachers proudly present me to other teachers and tell them " This is my student, he is an excellent student, he is my best student"..?
Why do i get forgotten easily?
Why don't people get happy to see me?
Why do i see frowns in their eyes the moment they lay eyes on me?
They would fake smiles of course, but it's more than obvious.....
It's as if they are shouting at me: " Why do you exist? Why do u live? Why don't you die? Why don't you do something about yourself and stop portraying yourself before my eyes?"
Why am i not good at anything?
Most of my friends, all of them, each of them is good at something. Someone is good at design, another is good at programming, another is a good leader, another is a good employer, another one is good with people, someone else is good at writing, another is good at singing, another is good at playing an instrument, another is a good player of football, basketball, volleyball, Tennis, anything, but each of 'em is good at something, what am i good at?
I'm not a good friend, sure i have friends, and sure i have someone who is "my" best friend, but i am nobody's best friend, not even someone else's good friend...if u ask someone who knows me, he would say:"Oh! Now, i remember, he is a friend of mine, yeah!", he won't say he is my best friend nor would he say "a good friend of mine", just a friend, why?
I'm not a good son....Why don't I treat my parents as they should be treated...Royal.
why don't I crawl at their feet...why do i walk before my father and not behind him, why do I eat before my father eats, why do i sleep before he sleeps, why does he have to bear my burden and i don't bear his....why do I not do as they tell me and the moment they tell me...Why do I prefer to look at some stupid movie, and not look at my mother's beautifull face, why I sit while she is standing, why do i lay while she is aseat?

Why am i not good?
You know..... may be that's what I am good at, being not good!
But, even that one I am not good at!
There are people who are better than me in being not good!
People are good at lying, i'm not!
people are good at stealing i'm not!
people are good at killing other people, i'm not!
People are good at cursing other people, i'm not!
People are good being rude, i'm not!
People are good at being arrogant, i'm not!
People are good at being disgusting, i'm not!
Why?
I don't want to be refered to as the bad guy..but if u r doing something, or you are something, then you better be good, if not the best at it, otherwise there's no use of it, or there's no use of u!

So, is that it? is that what i'm usefull for in this life? Having no use? could it be?
Could it? could it be? could it be? could it be?

It hurts.......I'm in pain!